The Beginning - My Mothers Words

Born February 1st 1935… May 15th 2021

She was a great mother, and looked after her family well. Clean house, clean clothes and fresh cooked meals three times a day, and lots and lots of love. Cookies and cakes were baked throughout the day and devoured by night. And off to church and Sunday school every Sunday. She was the perfect mother. I can still see her standing in the large front window of our house waving to us every single day as we went off to school – waving and waving until we couldn’t see her anymore. She still did that in the Seniors complex. We would leave and she would come downstairs and stand in the large window of the complex and wave and not leave until we were out of sight. There are many wonderful childhood memories.... but that is not what this is about. This is about her strong faith and devotion to God, and her desire to have the people she loved read the Bible.

My Mother was a middle child… two older brothers and one younger brother along with two younger sisters. Grew up in Halifax and came from a distinguished family of Captains, Opera Singers, Writers, and Judges. She was raised in the Hydrostones, which were the aftermath of the Halifax Explosion. And her mother continued to live there into her 90’s. My mother was married at the early age of 18 and with a family by the time she was 19 years old. She went to several different churches when she was growing up, not really getting seriously involved in any of them. Her father worked in the Baptist church near Dalhousie for many years as a volunteer, well actually, Im not sure of that, he might have got paid. So my mother, not really involved in any one religion, was just trying them all out, until she met the father of her children and got married in the back of the Catholic Church. She was not permitted to be married in the church, because she was with child and non denominational (non catholic). Later on to please her new family and husband, she converted to the Catholic Church and has continued with them throughout her life. Funny thing was, when she was married, she was forbidden to read the bible. And she obeyed. Didn’t ask why, didn't question it, just obeyed and did what she was told. There was a huge bible on our coffee table at home, but it was never read.


My mother lived through some rather dark days. She suffered with a skin condition that put her in the hospital twice in her lifetime. She was so sick that she could not walk, the top 5 layers of her skin literally fell off her body, removing all her freckles and left it so bare to the bone that she could not walk. She also lost all the hair on her body, and all her toenails and fingernails. She was so sick that she ended up in the hospital, in terrible pain. She actually thought she was dying. This all happened in her late thirties and early forties. To this day they do not know what it was, I think it was stress, but I have no idea. She was very sick, but eventually got better, but, in the process with no hair, she had to wear a wig, and continued to wear one for many years. I never once heard her complain. This rash continued throughout her entire life. She showed me from time to time, the rash she had on the top of her legs or her stomach, on her head. I couldn’t imagine it not being painful. Still no complaints. They gave her tons of medication to try and fix things, but it only made her very sick, and the end result was no fix and now permanent damage to her ears. She then had ringing in the ears for the rest of her life. She decided on her own to not take any more medication, and didn't really trust doctors anymore. Then didn't go see a doctor for 35 years.

Anyways, so off with life she goes. There was a point in her life that she was not permitted to work.She could take a course in case something happened - like if someone died or something, but was forbidden to work at it, pretty much a waste of time. Living with an alcoholic had its toll, so once the youngest was gone it was time for my mother to move on in her life. It was one of the most difficult decisions she ever had to make. No education, no career, no money, all the things you need to leave and make it on your own. She took a huge step in seeing a lawyer first, and the lawyer made it sound like she would have no problems. Being a mother and wife of 36 years still had its rights she was told... hmmm. She told my mother that she would have money for a little house somewhere, and alimony to survive on, and not to worry, that was the law. Well it never worked out that way for her. So we helped her get a little apartment and she was on her way. Things did not work out as she planned. In later years she told me that if she any idea on how difficult it was going to be she would have had second thoughts about leaving, but it was too late at this point. So she enrolled to go back to school and learned how to be an office worker. She learned everything that she needed about computers and office work. Finished with a diploma, and off she goes to find work. She was now at the age of 54! and not an easy age to get work. She pounded the pavement day after day, going to the employment centers, Unemployment offices,etc she found lots or temp jobs but nothing full time Then she fell into the good hands of Linda and Sue.. two wonderful people that brought her into the Womens Employment Outreach Centre as a volunteer worker. It’s an agency that works with women that are looking for a career change, or are nearing unemployment, or just need training to get on in this city, and start a new life. So there she goes. She goes every single day to help out, she does everything that needs to be done to run an office, help others looking for work, and listened to their problems, points them in the right direction to get help and did not get paid. Not once did my mother receive a pay cheque for all the time and work she did for this center for many years. She was happy to be out in the real world and be helpful to others that were in the same position as her. She was a great listener, and listened to many women and their problems, along with running the office full time. At that point my mother was living off $400 a month. There was no money for extras, but she continued to pay for her apartment and drive a car to work every day. She was happy finally.

At this time of her life, she had time on her hands in the evening, and while she was in the center, she met a women that was reading the Bible and throwing questions out there to anyone that would listen. So my mother was listening to her and thought that to answer her questions or to even know what she was talking about, she would now take the time to read the Bible. No one was around to tell her she couldn’t – and she did have a Bible that she thought would be a good one to read, “The Way”. So she started one day at a time. She was free, happy and had the time to relax and just read. It took her a year to read it, and I think she had even more questions after she was finished reading it, but felt that she was touched and now was ready to learn. The next time around she read the Bible with a TV program called Quick Study, so that she could get some explanations to the whys and whats of the Bible. She felt touched by The Holy Spirit and prayed for the ability to understand. Well it was maybe the third time she went through the Bible that she finally got it, or got what she felt God wanted her to have in her life. From there, she has continued to tell people how she feels about God.... well she talks to people, that she feels, want to hear her. She never imposed on people with her personal views. But, if you ask her she would be quick to tell you.. lol.

So now she understands it, she gets it big time....and now she so wants everyone she loves to be with her in eternal life. So for years now her gift was helping others learn about God. Each of her children got a Bible for Christmas, along with other awesome gifts. The Bible is what she wanted to give. She would give us all a different one each year, not only us, but the grand children or anyone that she felt she could get through to. She always said to me, it is such a simple concept. Love God and Love your neighbor, ask for forgiveness of your sins, and change your life.. easy as that. Plus, its nice to know what went on and what is going to happen in the future, so she pressed on. We got religious cards for Easter, Birthday cards that had us blessed by God or telling us how great a life we had and we should be thankful, etc. She would try to sneak it in whenever possible. All she was ever trying to do, was tell us that she loved us very much and would miss us desperately if we did not continue in the after life with her. She would tell me stories, we would discuss what she had learned and how she felt, and she was very passionate about sharing it with others, especially the people she loved. I personally knew a fair amount, I heard a lot, I believed a lot, just never got around to reading the whole Bible. She would press on.. and on.. I have never in all the years that I have known my mother, have never known her to ever lie. She was a simple, caring, loving soul, so if she was telling me something – then just her strong integrity made me think twice about it.



So with her frustration with me, she learned to be very good at the internet, email and technology in general, she kept up with it all. So through email technology, she tried to get me to understand how very important it is AGAIN, and would send me an email once a week – just because she needed for me to know. Just some of the highlights of the Bible, in her own words, to get me closer to God and Heaven.. lol.. she was very persistent. So I would receive these emails that you will read below. These started in 2008, a terrible year in my life.. so she must have thought I needed it, and oh did I. So the emails came, one right after the other. I was so in the dark in my life, was totally in my own little world and really didn’t pay much attention to what she was sending me. I just thought, oh well here she goes again, and pulled down my blinds, closed my doors and choose to ignore my mothers emails. She just kept plugging along. Showing me how happy I could be, and that she really would love it if we would all join her in Heaven.. lol… She was just trying to help me. So, here are the emails. You will see that her heart and soul went into those emails. I have no idea who else she sent them to, but what a wonderful gift now when I look back at them.


Still I didn’t read the Bible, and she started at me again..


Well technology and the world is changing, she said. I want to get you the newest technology for reading, and then I want to give you the Bible.. electronically. If you wont read it in paper then you might read it electronically. You can read it traveling back and forth to work each day and have it read in no time at all, She was a smart women, so out she goes and gets the best of the Ereaders out there. Ones that can do anything, they had to be top of the line for her children. With one little small little request from her. Please read the bible I have given you and installed on the ereader. So with such a large item for a women that has very little money and for her to save up her money and give such extravagant gifts, I thought, hmmm she means business. She really really wants this for her children.. so what the heck.. I promised her I would read it before I read anything else on my new Ereader. That made her very happy. Finally she got one of her kids to listen to her.


Here are her exact emails to me. You might not even get it. They are short and to the point, everything she thought you should be aware of to live an eternal life. Only because she loved life and loved God, and wanted to share. So please read on, these are her words and her views and she would be happy if everyone would have what she had in life. And now eternal life, awaiting Jesus.

So I finally read the Bible at the age of 53. Was the best thing I ever received from my mother. I tried to help someone read the Bible with ease and wrote a simple version with the help of my mothers thoughts and the internet I loved every minute of it and if you want to learn a little more then you are more than welcome to read this... https://biblesummarybasics.blogspot.com/ and hopefully it will entice you to read the Bible on your own.


Now my sweet mother is gone. My mother dying left me with a huge hole… Its marking the ending of an era, that I never wanted to end. The only person in the whole wide world that loved me unconditionally and unselfishly. She loved me and showed it my entire life, told me I was beautiful, I was special, I was smart I was talented.. you name it.. it all came from my mom.. . I could always count on my mother. She loved every moment she could get from me, and I loved being with her also.. I could do no wrong in my mothers eyes..No one was ever as interested in everything I did, or as proud of me as Mom.. She was like my best friend and losing her is like losing a part of myself. My mother was a model of loving kindness… strong and faithful.. Its hard to move forward with my life when my biggest confidant, friend, biggest fan and defender is gone. .Missing your mom is something you will feel every moment of every day, even when you’re happy. You will be having a good time and all of a sudden wish she was there. All the emotions will flood you with a vengeance. Its so strange, but its also ok.. She deserves a river of tears, Lilly said.. and I agree.. I say that all the time to myself when I break down in the most unusual circumstances, I just wish I had one more day with my mother. I know where she is at, my faith is strong because of her, doesn’t mean I miss her any less. It does give me comfort though, thank goodness I will see her again. So read her words, they are not my words.. they give me comfort to just read what she took the time to write to me. Sweet thing... I so miss her ...I am so thankful for her and her persistence with me and the Bible. Any questions, feel free to ask me.. just as I asked her.. xo

Now to read this blog.. Im not a blogger so I am not good at it.. lol..


Go to #1 https://nancygouldwords.blogspot.com/2021/05/1.html


When you get to the bottom there is


Newer post...................home .................and older post ..


Press older post to continue onto #2...


https://www.arbormemorial.ca/atlantic-dartmouth/obituaries/nancy-jeanette-gould/66272/